Cats and Crystals

Dear Ms Nixie,

I write to you not as much on my own behalf alone but for someone else. Now that someone else is a lot more than else and a large part of someone. You see, we live together. She’s gorgeous, fit, fun, athletic, full of personality, cuddly, very much into grooming and a huge fan of T.S.Elliot. I fear though, this special lady seems to have lost her usual spark of late, hiding away for extended periods of time, lack of appetite, excessive sleeping and well sometimes even engaging in obstinate and resistant behaviour she just wouldn’t have considered in the past, some might even say reckless behaviour god forbid. Miss Nixie, I even saw her in close proximity to the words RIP recently. I’m terribly concerned, whatever should I do?

Yours,
Mr. C. Andle-Flame

Dear Mr Andle-Flame,

Good grief, I’m also concerned but never fear for the darkness shall be the candlelight and the stillness the dancing. For a start might you not get her to dancing class? BTW, I’m not usually so much into name-ologies or mysticism or crystals that may or may not have been sourced from the depths of modern day slavery in countries with oppressive regimes (not to mention the environmental impacts) and then sold on to well meaning hippies for purposes of placebo healing. However, it seems important for reasons I cannot understand that I know of your better half’s name?

Yours,

Ms Nixie.

Dear Miss Nixie,

Oh well we were going to call her Plato, Admetus, Demeter or Munkustrap, Quaxo or Coricopat, Bombalurina or Jellylorum but then we decided on Purrson because she’s one of us too. We tried dancing you know and you’re right it was wonderful…at first…Here she is in training.



And then we ended up with this….all dressed for the stage, powdered with hair extensions and flatly refusing the gig.




And even more recently.....


What should we do with our little purrson. Please help and please help soon.

Yours,

Mr C. Andle-flame


Dear Mr Andle-Flame,

Give her love, give her attention, give her something to live for. Give her time. Give her a new reason to LIVE. Let her not RIP just yet but understand that she is yours and the Ying to your yang. You cannot hope to control anything, little own a cat. Embrace her free spirit and introduce her to a rock band that might get the sparkle back. Listen, here’s a couple of my clients. I’ll send you the deets if you think it might help.


All the best of love and luck with your little Purrson my dear. Keep the flame burning my dear. 

Yours,


Ms Nixie.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
Dear Nicla (Rose),  What if I told you I was once Mozart or that Dvorak was immortal? What if I told you Mary Pickford was reborn into a new body with each new generation? What If I told you The Titanic wasn’t written by James Cameron and the music wasn’t written by James Horner either? Would you believe me? What if I told you “Someone that I used to Know” was a joke between two lovers who sent music to one another on cassette tapes about a man with a Goatee and a woman called Kim wearing a bra (Kimbra). What if I told you the man who came on stage at the Arias all about that kind of plagiarism was telling the truth?  Which parts would you believe? What if I told you Wolfgang Amadeus was an adopted woman with a twin brother who dressed as a girl and was captured by the elite to make even more money in a situation of child slave labour? What If I told you I died and came alive again or gave birth like an alien from my mouth breaking every bone in my face? It’s unlikel...
Read more

Fabio's Dream

Image
Dear Nixie, I’ve heard of your self- help column and wondered if you might take a few moments away from a hectic schedule to offer me some words of wisdom and clairvoyance . I love carrots, cuddles and good times at night ie a good roll in the hay oh and the occasional pellet party never does go astray.   I’m from a very large family and have ties to royalty. I love fashion, dating apps and fine dining (though always vegan). I have a low centre of gravity, wear fur   and often dream about freedom. Could wear Gucci if sponsored. I need some help with celebrities as I wish to become a star. A big star. A very big star. There’s only one problem….. Can I trust you with my heart? Yours Truly, Fabio Dear Fabio, Spit it all out darling. That’s what I’m here for. A life lived in fear is a life lived. Everyone feels afraid in one way or another. Bravery is overblown you see. What I’m more interested in is the truth. Many people are afraid and they still manage ...
Read more

Roses Ice and Chariots of Fire

Image
Dear Nicla, I'm thinking of taking up Gingerbread Making but Pinterest and Instagram are sort of putting me off. I tried once and the whole house caved in, despite listening to instructions left right and centre on youtube. It's hard to fail these days. There's always someone better all thanks to Mr Google. I was thinking of trying again, but for what purpose? Have we lost our purpose do u think? Is all purpose flour with purpose at all if any attempt might make it to one of those kinds of television shows such as "Nailed It." Are those kinds of shows a deterrent in themselves or all in good fun to make the everyday chef feel ok? It's just I can remember a time when baking was a little more free somehow. I was wondering on your thoughts. Ms. T. R.Y. Nomore` Dear Ms Nomore` Plus Roses, As a matter of fact I've made some gingerbread houses in my time but I'm also no expert darling and the one before this one I've posted you, which is standi...
Read more