Fabio's Dream

Dear Nixie,

I’ve heard of your self- help column and wondered if you might take a few moments away from a hectic schedule to offer me some words of wisdom and clairvoyance . I love carrots, cuddles and good times at night ie a good roll in the hay oh and the occasional pellet party never does go astray.  I’m from a very large family and have ties to royalty. I love fashion, dating apps and fine dining (though always vegan). I have a low centre of gravity, wear fur  and often dream about freedom. Could wear Gucci if sponsored.
I need some help with celebrities as I wish to become a star. A big star. A very big star. There’s only one problem…..
Can I trust you with my heart?

Yours Truly,

Fabio

Dear Fabio,

Spit it all out darling. That’s what I’m here for. A life lived in fear is a life lived. Everyone feels afraid in one way or another. Bravery is overblown you see. What I’m more interested in is the truth. Many people are afraid and they still manage to keep being afraid while pretending to be brave. More to the point remembering to talk to people about your fears is the idea dear boy. Might I ask a personal Question? Are you by chance a body builder. I always imagined Fabios might be?

Yours Truly,


Nicla

Dear Ms Nixie,

Well yes body builder is right. That’s me some years ago and well this is me now below. My full name is Fabio Le. N. Grinnypig The 31ST. Count of Bergough Manor LAH. D. DAH (honors Univiresity of Ah La Carte and special Ops)

I’m not sure if you counsel Guinea Pigs but here’s the rub. I’m a fan of Baz Luhrmann. He’s a big star in Humankind and in Guinea land. We honour him too. He’s looking away from the camera in his latest profile picture. The window is closed. All looks terribly serious and well, no room for little ol’ me. It must be a sign he doesn't want me. How might I capture his attention, get in with the big kids and make a mark for myself. I can do a good paso doble myself you know.

Yours Fabio

Dear Fabio,

Oh how wonderful, a guinea pig found a pathway to me. Not Baz though,  i’m afraid or any of his bosom friends. But you dear boy, well what a treat. If I told you, mwah, mwah, I’d been in the same room as Mr Di Caprio mwah mwah in nothing but a grass skirt and pair of underpants, you’d never believe me. Well of course it’s not true, right? Well, I wouldn’t want to give you false hope Fabio, that I can pull the strings round here. But I can offer you a shoulder to lie on. Cry it all out darling and get back on Guinder, there’s nothing wrong with looking for love, even if it is on one of those fan dangled dating apps. Do you know karate? It seems to be fairing well for Mr Pitt. Might you take up lessons? My suggestion would be to keep working on your portfolio, dance lessons, runway (very hot right now in the getting to be an actor phase) gymnastics, find out where Ms Generes shops and pop out of her trolley for a quick screen test, and stay afraid but honest. Fear may never leave you but tap dancing is always an option, well for the time being anyway Fabio. I most humbly thank you  dear Count, and may you always crawl in love and peace.

Nicla xx

Ps. I need to confess, I am NOT the right person to come to if you wish to gain notoriety. I am sorry if it got around to you Fabio, that I might be. Now im very busy and must flee to a date with a good book and a cup of tea. All the best though darling. I just thought it best I follow my own advice and reveal the truth. Perhaps you could try Mr Tarantino? 

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