The Mystery of Mrs Hornblower
Dear Nixie,
Although, as circumscribed in your former column, all lines to team nerd adroit have officially closed..but might I trouble you though for just one more snifter of instruction as the matter at hand will require immediate aid to avert a rather primary catastrophic heart ache. I wouldn't have troubled you at all Ms Nixie, especially under the circumstances, but I am quite convinced you might actually be the one person closest to understanding re the depths of hidden histories and secret apologues bound in abstemious persecution to the true door of this endemic soul, my soul, my calling, my soft place to fall. You see a rather charming chappy, one of those arty writer types with all manor of interesting, very interesting advice, may well have me pegged as a hard hitting journalist or something equally serious. I haven't yet had the valour or true heart to explain, or should I say lift the little red silken cover on a bonus buy. It's all to do with Antiques and Roadshows and Bargain Hunts and oh goodness what I wouldn't give to run my hands over the fine firm plane of a very sizeable... Morecroft original. And don't even talk to me about the Mr Doulton. Good grief, how much can a potter actually urn. But it's not even about the money Ms Nixie for I am a mere humble collector.
Is it wrong of me? Is it wrong of me to see the silver lining in the depths of a Shefield decanter? Is it wrong to have fantasised upon learning the ropes from Tim Wanacott or Fiona Bruce, or at the very least, to have imagined in the far reaches of a distant odyssey that I might one day have the chance to meet them in person.
What should I do Nixie? Is honesty really the best policy or should I have a slice of Vanilla Ice and live the motto;
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery?"
Yours,
Ms Nicoletta Rosetta
Dear Ms Rosetta,
I'm afraid I can't possible stop too long, particularly under the circumstances, that being, I have a secret date with a nice piece of firm wood, a piece of wood with a secret purpose....and if you might keep it under your hat, a little guilty pleasure of mine (i.e. reruns of Episode 8 Antiques Roadshow November 2015. The story of a love token, chip carved, 1775 corset busk). The truth is Nicoletta, I'm afraid I'm an avid fan myself dear girl and it would be rather remiss of me to admit otherwise . I shouldn't think there need be shame Ms Rosetti, for what the dickens might we do without our tears to tenderise hearts made otherwise stone by dismissing the very real truth of a flowering soul. I did have somewhat of a brainwave re your predicament Nicoletta. It came upon me, in between watching the nightly news and a rather incredible record breaking win from the Red Team out on the prowl .....for a genuine 18th century soup ladle. They ended up bringing it all home and hosed with the sale of an eight hundred pound ceramic pot and all of this, just in the nick of time with the bonus buy, I must add. Oh it was quite marvellous and the shock reminded me somewhat of Mr Roman Sebries and the little javelin mishap;
"I looked at my shoulder and saw a javelin stuck in it. I was in shock" Roman Sebrie
I'm sure indeed he was, poor chap and fortunately he survived and so say all of us, well at least all of me anyway, shall you.
What was my point? Oh yes, hard hitting journalist and antiques collecting? I rather think it's the stories we're interested in most Nicoletta. Because the past is sometimes a mystery too as is the future. And history and stories are at the very centre of meaning of worth of life. And all of that can be beautifully soft or as hard hitting as a ball of steel in a poncho shop. So you like history? So you like stories? So you want to gather history and remember and recollect and imagine the future from looking backwards some? Well there's nothing at all wrong there. Even the news is already history by the time you see it.
You know there's a chance for a pastiche, a montage a mise en scene of journalism and Antiques Roadshow and a rather important hunt for the truth. An investigative piece on the true identity of avid collector Ms Hornblower from the Glasgow Auctions, might just be a good place to start. You never know what could be uncovered?? Or then again, some mysteries are better left a mystery. Then of course we shouldn't forget that;
"Mystery has it's own mysteries and there are gods above gods above gods. We have ours. They have theirs That is known as infinity." Jean Cocteau
And so to infinity and beyond...
Some food for thought eh?
Yours,
Nixie xx
Although, as circumscribed in your former column, all lines to team nerd adroit have officially closed..but might I trouble you though for just one more snifter of instruction as the matter at hand will require immediate aid to avert a rather primary catastrophic heart ache. I wouldn't have troubled you at all Ms Nixie, especially under the circumstances, but I am quite convinced you might actually be the one person closest to understanding re the depths of hidden histories and secret apologues bound in abstemious persecution to the true door of this endemic soul, my soul, my calling, my soft place to fall. You see a rather charming chappy, one of those arty writer types with all manor of interesting, very interesting advice, may well have me pegged as a hard hitting journalist or something equally serious. I haven't yet had the valour or true heart to explain, or should I say lift the little red silken cover on a bonus buy. It's all to do with Antiques and Roadshows and Bargain Hunts and oh goodness what I wouldn't give to run my hands over the fine firm plane of a very sizeable... Morecroft original. And don't even talk to me about the Mr Doulton. Good grief, how much can a potter actually urn. But it's not even about the money Ms Nixie for I am a mere humble collector.
Is it wrong of me? Is it wrong of me to see the silver lining in the depths of a Shefield decanter? Is it wrong to have fantasised upon learning the ropes from Tim Wanacott or Fiona Bruce, or at the very least, to have imagined in the far reaches of a distant odyssey that I might one day have the chance to meet them in person.
What should I do Nixie? Is honesty really the best policy or should I have a slice of Vanilla Ice and live the motto;
"Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery?"
Yours,
Ms Nicoletta Rosetta
Dear Ms Rosetta,
I'm afraid I can't possible stop too long, particularly under the circumstances, that being, I have a secret date with a nice piece of firm wood, a piece of wood with a secret purpose....and if you might keep it under your hat, a little guilty pleasure of mine (i.e. reruns of Episode 8 Antiques Roadshow November 2015. The story of a love token, chip carved, 1775 corset busk). The truth is Nicoletta, I'm afraid I'm an avid fan myself dear girl and it would be rather remiss of me to admit otherwise . I shouldn't think there need be shame Ms Rosetti, for what the dickens might we do without our tears to tenderise hearts made otherwise stone by dismissing the very real truth of a flowering soul. I did have somewhat of a brainwave re your predicament Nicoletta. It came upon me, in between watching the nightly news and a rather incredible record breaking win from the Red Team out on the prowl .....for a genuine 18th century soup ladle. They ended up bringing it all home and hosed with the sale of an eight hundred pound ceramic pot and all of this, just in the nick of time with the bonus buy, I must add. Oh it was quite marvellous and the shock reminded me somewhat of Mr Roman Sebries and the little javelin mishap;
"I looked at my shoulder and saw a javelin stuck in it. I was in shock" Roman Sebrie
I'm sure indeed he was, poor chap and fortunately he survived and so say all of us, well at least all of me anyway, shall you.
What was my point? Oh yes, hard hitting journalist and antiques collecting? I rather think it's the stories we're interested in most Nicoletta. Because the past is sometimes a mystery too as is the future. And history and stories are at the very centre of meaning of worth of life. And all of that can be beautifully soft or as hard hitting as a ball of steel in a poncho shop. So you like history? So you like stories? So you want to gather history and remember and recollect and imagine the future from looking backwards some? Well there's nothing at all wrong there. Even the news is already history by the time you see it.You know there's a chance for a pastiche, a montage a mise en scene of journalism and Antiques Roadshow and a rather important hunt for the truth. An investigative piece on the true identity of avid collector Ms Hornblower from the Glasgow Auctions, might just be a good place to start. You never know what could be uncovered?? Or then again, some mysteries are better left a mystery. Then of course we shouldn't forget that;
"Mystery has it's own mysteries and there are gods above gods above gods. We have ours. They have theirs That is known as infinity." Jean Cocteau
And so to infinity and beyond...
Some food for thought eh?
Yours,
Nixie xx
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